One of Britain's top universities is to abolish student fees after the Supreme Court allowed it to charge a royalty on every use of English words online.
From 6 April 2018 Oxford University will use a
monopoly granted by Henry VIII to demand money from the one billion people who
write online in English. They will automatically be billed a ‘nanocharge’ of 0.0001p
by Oxford University Press for every word they publish online if it is in the
Oxford English Dictionary. Fees from the estimated fifty trillion English words
written online each year will allow the university to make education free at
all levels.
The Oxford English Dictionary itself only began
in 1859 and rapidly became the definitive record of the language.
But under Letters
Patent of 1523 Henry VIII granted the University “our speciall lycence” to
collect money “from thoos persons who prynt in the language of Englonde” and
use such money “for the supporting and maynteynyng of the vnyuersite of
Oxenford” and the order “shulde passe and be sealed vnder our greate Seale as
by our said comaundement as ye haue more parfite knaulage of the language of
Englonde than any other”.
Henry VIII Letters Patent of 1523 granting Oxford University rights to all English words ‘in perpetuity’.
The royalty could have been charged at any time
since 1523. But early attempts to levy printer’s type led to riots against the
so-called “taxes on knowledge”. The situation changed this week when the
Supreme Court held unanimously that the words of the Letters Patent could not be
clearer” and gave Oxford the right “in perpetuyte” to the copyright on the
words in its Dictionary. The court rejected a counter-claim by rival publisher Collins that the Letters Patent were repealed by the Monopolies Act
1624. “No such provision exists in the Statute” said the President of the Court and
Oxford graduate Lord Justice Neuberger. Significantly, Justice Lady Hale, the Deputy
President who went to Cambridge, did not dissent.
Professor Fiona Nomura, a Proctor of Oxford
University Council, told me in an exclusive interview
“For nearly half a millennium Oxford has allowed
England, Britain and the world to use the English language free of charge. However,
the University is increasingly uncomfortable at Government demands to raise the
fees charged to our undergraduates, this year to £9,250. So Congregation
decided to use this ancient right to levy a charge on every online use of the
words which are the University's copyright and make education at this world beating institution
free again.”
She pointed out that Henry VIII himself was a
great patron of education and founded several grammar schools and colleges.
Oxford claims the amount “will be too little for
an individual to notice but will mean much to our students”.
All words published online will be compared with
the online Dictionary and an automatic PayPal debit applied for each word in it.
The nanocharge of 0.0001p levied on the estimated 500 trillion online uses of
English words each year will raise £500m – more than enough to replace the £110m
in fees paid by Oxford’s 12,000 undergraduates. The balance will be used for
bursaries and to support its 11,000 postgraduates – who Congregation called “the
entrepreneurs of tomorrow” in the so far secret meeting that made this historic
decision.
However, Professor Angie Buff of Trinity College
Cambridge said the move was a backward step. “It will lead to people
misspelling and making up words to try to avoid the nanocharge. They may even
start tweeting in foreign languages. It may help a few Oxford students but it
will damage literacy and, ultimately, English itself.”
The levy will cover all websites and social
media including blogs, Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, and even the subtitles on
YouTube. Twitter alone publishes 3 trillion English words every year. Oxford is
working with GCHQ to extend the nanocharge to encrypted services such as
SnapChat.
Professor Nomura confirmed that the copyright
only extends to the 600,000 words defined in the Oxford English Dictionary. “Neologisms
such as ‘selfiecide’, ‘mansplaining’, and ‘nmh’ will still be free to use,
should any ignoramus wish to do so.”
She warned however that the fee would be levied
on one new word. At an emergency meeting of the Words Admission National
Council English Register this week ‘Brexit’ was added to the Dictionary with
immediate effect. Such speed is unusual for an organisation which took twenty-four
years to admit the word ‘snozzle’. Professor Nomura denies the haste was to
cash in on the word’s popularity. "It is simply because the definition is
so clear" she said "Brexit means Brexit," Fi Nomura smiled, “end
of."
UPDATE: I have learned that the nanocharge will be brought forward five days and will be applied from 0001 on Sunday 1 April.
Vs 2.0001
1 April 2018
